Post-Aladdin Reflection

If you don't want to read something dramatically depressing to the point where it seems desperate, don't read ahead of this. I am a writer, so I express my feelings in a way that seems seriously dramatic to the point where it doesn't seem real. This is what is going to happen to me after after every theatrical performance, you see; I will go into some sort of long-lasting depression where I wish to go back in time and experience what I experienced before it was gone. Since I'm unfortunate enough to have a heart made of glass that shattered the moment I stepped offstage today, I needed to post something that could express my dramatically exaggerated feelings that are something I don't want to experience, unlike my experience with Team Aladdin. If you want to dwell with my messed up emotions that never give me a break, read ahead. And because I am a writer, this is the kind of post that happens when I am depressed. :|

The past three months have been three months I can never possibly forget. They're those kind of memories that you never really appreciate as they happen, and only start to realize how precious and wonderful and beautiful they are when they are just. About. Gone. They're those kind of memories where you know that it's going to happen again soon, but that soon just seems so far away and out of your grip.

"Aladdin Jr." was my first theatrical performance. I never thought that theatrical performances would take more effort than you put into something you're doing for your own benefit, or because your best friend pleaded for you to, or for the sake of saying I did this and I am proud. Although I did first audition for this play for all three reasons I've just listed, the effort it took for this beautiful memory to happen was more than you'd think.

I've met amazing people through this, gotten closer to people I thought I was close enough to, and learned from my experience. Although I know there will be another play for me to audition for and meet more people and reunite with everyone I've gotten to know and love for the past three months, today was the last time the same exact cast would perform altogether

Long giggling fits, awkward silences, catchy tunes, familiar voices and standing ovations ring in my head. It's been four hours since we all split up. I've invented a name for my depression. "Post-Aladdin Depression", I call it. I wonder how long it's going to last. I hope it's not too long. My emotions really never give me a break. >:(

An experience I will NEVER get used to

This year, I had another amazing opportunity to participate in my school's spelling bee. Last year, I had participated and won. I was overwhelmed by all the words I had to commit to memory, the long time I had to study that seemed so short, and the competition that worried me greatly.

If anyone tells you that the pre-bee jitters only last the first few rounds, that's a lie. That's a big fib. A prevarication. A nasty, no good, filthy, dirty, rotten lie. This was the fourth spelling bee I had participated in and my knees were wobbling until my last word. The big audience, small chance and mind-blowing words take over and your brain doesn't work right. Your knees shake, you start to twiddle with your thumbs and sweat is trickling down your back. Unless you can shove off the hardest of emotions, there is no way to avoid the feelings you are going to feel. Unless, of course, you've got some hardcore confidence in you. That's a different story. Just don't let the emotions overpower you. Be careful with what you say, because before you know it, the dreaded bell might ring in your ears and you'll be sitting right back down.

Never let yourself be too confident during a spelling bee, though. You'll start to spell the words that shoot at you too fast and skip a letter or two. You'll think you've got all the brains, but in reality, your brain is busted. Your confidence will take control. You might even spell the easiest of words with an extra letter.

There is also no such thing as "enough studying". The more words you have committed to memory, the better chance you have. There'll be long, confusing words stuck in your study list here and there. You need to get them in your head as quickly as you can. In my case, the hardest words are usually the easiest to spell because I start studying them first.

By the way, the advice I'm giving you? That was my key to winning again this year.

The Little Things

Since 2011 has come to a close, I wanted to make a list of the really little things that I never stopped to appreciate.


I thank 2011 for

• the little hugs I got from my best friends every morning
• the kiss I got from my parents before bedtime every night
• the small things that I tripped over that made me look like a real klutz
• the thick books I read at school that made me look like a nerd
• the strange outfits that I picked out that made me look like I was color blind
• my first guitar that everyone raised their eyebrow at because it was so small
• the inches that never grew to make myself look taller than Thea
• the soft ear of my stuffed animal rubbing against my nose before I go to bed
• the friends I took for granted that made a great impact later on
• the long talks I had with my mom after dinner that went on for hours
• the short conversations I had with my dad that consisted of nonexistent words and jibber-jabber
• the glasses I put on every morning that helped me see the world clearer
• the books that were there when no one else was
• the tears that I cried that were worth it after all
• the laughs that I held in so I wouldn't look like a freak
• the laughs that came out anyway
• and the years that I have ahead of me that are yet to come.